Working on Episode 7
It's been since the first week of November since I worked on the podcast for Salmonfolk. If you listen to Episode 6 it explains everything. I will write the rest of this assuming that you did already listen to that one.
I am living...interestingly. My father is now living in a retirement community. After he got settled there right around Thanksgiving of 2021, I took a much needed trip. I thought, during the trip, that I would go right back to the town where Dad had moved to. That made my trip a vacation. Having a place to return to means you are vacationing. But it didn't go that way for me. I needed more than a vacation and my family and friends helped me realize how the 2.5 years of live in caretaking, the death of my mom and my dad having dementia, had completely worn me out. I had also realized that I had helped Dad move into a retirement home that provided every thing that he could possibly want or need. I realized, in short, that I could look at my life and try to return to it.
I had sold the family home though. That is where I had lived too while taking care of my parents. It's also where I worked harder than I ever had, but for no income whatsoever. So, on my vacation, I ended up starting my new life with no real money, no place to call home, and no idea where home might be. It's now late February 2022 and I have been traveling since November 28th, so about 3 months exactly.
With some money from the sale of the house I have traveled the country, stayed with friends all over...and finally landed in Warren VT. I have decided this place is it for me and I am staying. I am interviewing for jobs, making connections and looking for housing. The hardest part about things is my completely mushy brain. Seriously. Some days, forming coherent thoughts and putting plans into action feels impossible. This is quite common, I am told (and have read), when it comes to life after being a full time caregiver. I made the decision to turn to housesitting and petsitting as a means to keep my overhead costs low while trying to form a new plan for life. Luckily I have found a lot of that kind of work here in Warren VT. Right now it's a bright sunny morning here on a high hill. I can look over the snow covered terrain at Sugarbush Ski Resort. There is a fresh foot of powder covering everything. It's about 16 degrees outside and the wood stove is cranked up and sending out those relaxing heat waves.
I have set aside this entire day to do one thing-create Episode 7 of the podcast. It's difficult to get centered though I am finding. Being in someone' else's house, in a town I am committed to but not quite settled into at all...it's hard to create without more anchoring. To be honest, mostly I just want to sleeeeeeep all day. Since arriving in town on February 9th I have hiked for about 2 hours every single day in deep snow or hard ice. I've cross country skied, snowshoed, trail ran...it's been amazing. But I am worn out! My quads are jelly. So today is a perfect day to skip being outside and just make this podcast happen. I think about this podcast literally every single day. All my work for Salmonfolk is on my mind daily. But I just haven't been in a place of my own, figuratively and literally, to have creative space.
So I will admit, it's a bit of a slog to force my brain into actually creating the episode. It's just hard to find a starting point. Even remembering my workflow process for how I make episodes feels like it is buried in a time capsule in some forgotten back yard. Hopefully I can conjure up what is needed and make the podcast episode as good as it was in real life that day on Vancouver Island.